Sports
The U is back … in the Bottom 10
Inspirational thought of the week:
(Cole Trickle drives his mangled Chevy Lumina into the pit stall)
Buck Bretherton: “Well, how about that? Something we don’t have to fix!”
(Crew chief Harry Hogge walks over and kicks a dent into the side of the car Bretherton is looking at)
Harry Hogge: “I don’t want you to get spoiled, Buck.”
— “Days of Thunder”
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the footlocker on the “College GameDay” bus where Nick Saban keeps his secret stash of “Anchor Down” Vanderbilt football apparel, we are beginning to worry that perhaps those of you who visit these rankings, as the kids say, “on the regular” might be like those who benefited from Saban’s time in Tuscaloosa. You’re getting a little spoiled.
Just two weeks ago, we had an all-time majestically meh Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Mega Bowl matchup between UMess and State of Kent, winners of a lot of the most recent Bottom 10 titles. (We tried to look up exactly how many, but someone spilled Yoo-hoo on the archival floppy disk.) Then, this past week, we had the Sam Houston Bearkats kutting it up with UTEPid. Now the stage is set for a third consecutive PFOWY, as Georgia State Not Southern hosts the South Alabama Redundancies. And, as you will read in the words ahead, this is just the tip of a season-sinking iceberg of not-big games coming, as the spotter on the Titanic shouted way too late, “Right ahead!”
So, for all the talk about Power Autonomous Haughty Four conference realignment, in-conference scheduling, CFP committee résumé reading and the headliner showdowns that all of the above seem to bring with them, how about some props for the same happening down here with us? And by props, I totally mean rubber chickens, whoopee cushions and one of those Groucho Marx plastic-nose-on-the-glasses things.
With apologies to former Wichita State wide receiver Mike Proppe, former Drake tight end Hal Proppe, USC DB Prophet Brown and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 8 Bottom 10 rankings.

![]()
The Minuetmen continued their Backtion in #MACtion schedule, playing a former fellow Bottom 10 anchor, the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills. With 59 seconds remaining, the Amherst Amblers hauled in an interception that seemed to ice a 21-20 win. As the ESPN Analytics Ouija board said they had a 90.9% chance of victory, UMass players proceeded to demonstratively wave goodbye and do faux snow angels in celebration, drawing an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. After a three-and-out followed by a punt, the Minuetmen surrendered a four-play, 50-yard, 22-second TD drive to lose in the closing seconds, their lead turning out to be as real as that snow.
![]()
The bad news? The Bearkats lost the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Episode II: Attack of the Groans to UTEPid 35-17. The good news? If they don’t tell anyone it happened, no one is likely to ever know, because the crowd they played in front of was so small it would have saved time in the pregame to have had the PA announcer introduce the people in the stands to the starting lineups instead of the starting lineups to the people in the stands.
Official attendance for Sam Houston vs. UTEP : 671
Smallest crowd in SHSU history https://t.co/rnNmBetqfQ
— UTEPnews (@theUTEPnews) October 16, 2025
![]()
What a stretch for the Beavs. They finally won a game, beating the Lafayette Leopards, current leaders of the Patriot League. After a week versus the Fightin’ Bye of Open Date U, they will play the first of their in-season home-and-home double feature against Washington State, with whom they are currently tied for first in the 2Pac. Then they host Sam Houston State in the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Episode IV: A New Dope.
![]()
The Minors won their second game of the season, but their boat remains mired in the Bottom 4 because Pillow Fight victories over other teams in the Bottom 4 come with trophies made of lead. Plus, that pickax of theirs is always accidentally punching holes in the boat.
![]()
Ah, the rites of autumn. You can set your clock to their inevitability. The cool dip of the evening temperatures. The changing colors of the leaves. Suburban moms mainlining pumpkin spice. The Miami Hurricanes interrupting their latest “We’re back!” campaign with a midseason loss that lands them in the Coveted Fifth Spot. And the fans of those Canes not understanding what the Coveted Fifth Spot is despite the fact that they are here every year and thus raise Cane by filling my social media timelines with strings of cuss words stronger than Cuban coffee.
![]()
The Woof Pack keeps losing close games, the latest being their two-point defeat at the paws of New Mexico. But you know what they say. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. And atomic bomb tests, which happened about 300 miles east of Reno. Feels pretty close to us.
![]()
Much like we should all keep a safe distance between ourselves and atomic bomb testing, the Blew Raiders have a built-in buffer between Murfreesboro and the Bottom 5 in the form of Novada, whom they edged by the closest of margins, 14-13 way back in Week 3. But their Nov. 22 visit from Sam Houston does have the makings of a possible boundary-smashing Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Episode VII: The Farce Awakens.
![]()
Meanwhile, the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Y’all Edition was won by Georgia Southern Not State over Georgia State Not Southern. I made a joke last week that the loser would have to change their name from GSU to GUS but was angrily informed that this game already has a GUS in the form of the Georgia Southern Eagles mascot named, yes, Gus. The nastiest letter I received wasn’t signed, but it was covered in white feathers.
![]()
Our second-favorite red, white and blue team named USA returns to these rankings just in time for its matchup with Georgia State Not Southern, a meeting of the last-place teams in each division of the Fun Belt, aka the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Episode V: The Empire Looks Wack.
![]()
In my mind I can see this one resident of Massachusetts who had his heart broken by the Red Sox to start the MLB postseason … so he decided to go to the UConn-Boston College game to clear his head, only to watch the Eagles get run over by the Artist Formerly Known As U-Can’t … but then had the thought, “Hey, I can make it out to Amherst for the second half!” and started waving bye with 0:59 remaining when he thought UMass was going to win and watched the Minuetmen blow it … so, when he finally got home to Southie, and after his dog bit him, he made himself feel better by opening a six-pack of Sam Adams and going on the new ESPN App to watch the replay of Bill Belichick’s Tar Holes losing to Cal by fumbling the ball at the goal line late in the fourth quarter.
Waiting list: Northern Ill-ugh-noise, State of Kent, EMU Emus, Oklahoma State No Pokes, Charlotte 1-and-6ers, Wisconsin Bad-gers, Akronmonious, UNC Chapel Bill, the USC-Notre Dame series ending.
Sports
Alcaraz, Sabalenka target AO glory | The Express Tribune
Spain’s Carlos Alcaraz is targeting a career Grand Slam at the Australian Open. Photo: AFP
MELBOURNE:
Carlos Alcaraz launches his bid for a career Grand Slam on Sunday “hungry” for an elusive Australian Open title, while Aryna Sabalenka is laser-focused on clinching a third Melbourne crown.
The first major of the year gets under way as a 15-day event for the third time running, aimed at cutting down on late-night finishes.
Top seed Alcaraz is desperate to win it, having failed to go past the quarter-finals in four previous trips to Australia.
The title is the only one missing from his major collection, which currently consists of two French Opens, two US Opens and two Wimbledons.
“This is my main goal for this year,” Alcaraz, who gets under way in the night match on Rod Laver Arena against home player Adam Walton, said.
“I’m just hungry for the title, hungry to do a really good result here.”
He has met the 79th-ranked Walton once before, at Queen’s in London last year, when he won 6-4, 7-6 (7/4).
Should the 22-year-old complete the career Slam he would join an exclusive club as just the sixth man to win all four major titles after Andre Agassi, Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic and Rod Laver.
He would also become the youngest, surpassing Nadal, who was 24 at the time.
But he has a big roadblock in front of him, with Italy’s Jannik Sinner the two-time defending champion and in peak physical condition.
Sinner, who beat Alexander Zverev in last year’s final and went on to win Wimbledon, opens against France’s Hugo Gaston, who he has met twice before but not since 2021.
“We worked a lot physically,” Sinner said of his pre-season. “The physical part now is so, so important because the matches can get very long and also very intense.
“You have to be at the top physical level as long as you can.”
Assuming he gets that far, Sinner could meet 10-time champion Djokovic in the semi-finals before a potential clash with Alcaraz for the title.
Djokovic would surpass Margaret Court as the outright Slam leader on 25 titles should he turn back the clock and upstage his younger rivals.
He has a tricky opener against Spain’s Pedro Martinez.
Zverev, in the same half of the draw as Alcaraz, is also in action Sunday against Canadian Gabriel Diallo.
World number 10 Alexander Bublik takes on American Jenson Brooksby.
Sabalenka hot favourite
Top-ranked Sabalenka kicks off against French wildcard Tiantsoa Rakotomanga Rajaonah, preceding Alcaraz onto Rod Laver Arena.
The Belarusian went into last year’s final aiming to become the first woman since Martina Hingis to win three consecutive Australian Opens.
But she was stunned by Madison Keys, a setback she admitted “took me a little time to recover” from.
“I’m not really focusing on that result last year,” said Sabalenka, who won the Brisbane title last week. “But of course I would like to do just a little bit better than I did last year.”
Keys failed to really kick on from clinching a maiden Grand Slam and is in Australia as the ninth seed.
She will need to improve after clocking up nearly 50 unforced errors in her early exit at the warm-up Adelaide International.
She meets debutant Oleksandra Oliynykova of Ukraine and could face Jessica Pegula in the last 16 and Amanda Anisimova in the last eight.
“I’m really trying to push myself to kind of evolve and add more things to my game,” said the American.
Sabalenka’s chief rival, six-time Grand Slam winner Iga Swiatek is, like Alcaraz, angling for a career Grand Slam in Melbourne.
“Obviously it would be a dream come true,” said the Polish star, who is yet to go beyond the semi-finals.
She will begin against Chinese qualifier Yuan Yue.
Seventh seed Jasmine Paolini, 12th seed Elena Svitolina and veteran Venus Williams are also in action on Sunday.
Sports
Pakistan futsal teams make history with first-ever international wins
Pakistan’s futsal breakthrough continued at the SAFF Championship in Thailand as the men’s team secured their first-ever international win on Friday, a day after the women recorded Pakistan’s maiden futsal victory.
In the men’s event, Pakistan came back from a 2–0 deficit to beat Bhutan 4–2 at the Hua Mak Indoor Arena in Bangkok, registering their first international victory in futsal.
Bhutan’s Dawa Shering put his side ahead with two quick goals early on, but Pakistan responded through Hassan Zafar, who scored in the 28th minute to cut the deficit.
Asif Ahmed Chaudhry levelled the match in the 32nd minute before Adnan Ashfaq struck in the 34th and 35th minutes to complete the turnaround and seal the win.
Pakistan’s starting five for the match featured Tahir Khan, Hassaan Zafar, Humza Nusrat, Nisar Hussain and Salar Khan, with Abdul Wadud, Humza Khan, Asif Ahmad, Adnan Ashfaq, Ali Agha, Abdul Hannan, Zaid Khan, Muhammad Elham and Rajab Ali listed among the substitutes.
Pakistan had opened the tournament with a 7–1 defeat to the Maldives in their first match.
In the women’s event, Pakistan defeated Sri Lanka 3–2 on Thursday, with Azwa Chaudhry scoring a hat-trick to deliver the women’s team’s first-ever international futsal win.
Reacting to the landmark results, the Pakistan Football Federation (PFF) said on Instagram that Pakistan’s women’s and men’s futsal teams had “created history by winning their first-ever international matches at SAFF Futsal 2026”.
The PFF said the teams delivered the wins “despite a lack of Futsal infrastructure in the country and the challenges”, adding that Pakistan women beat Sri Lanka 3–2 while the men’s team “came from behind to win against Bhutan 4-2”.
PFF President Mohsen Gilani credited the achievement to the resilience and efforts of the coaches and players, saying: “our players and coaches have made history and we will build on this foundation to take Futsal to greater heights and make Pakistan a force in Futsal”.
The federation also said referees and coaches from Pakistan “completed their courses for Futsal during the SAFF Championship”.
The women’s team returns to face the Maldives today at 6:00pm Pakistan time, while the men’s team will play Sri Lanka in their next match on January 18.
Sports
Duke QB Darian Mensah changes mind, enters transfer portal
Duke starting quarterback Darian Mensah is entering the NCAA transfer portal.
Mensah submitted his request for transfer paperwork Friday, ahead of the midnight deadline for FBS and FCS players to enter the portal.
“This wasn’t an easy decision, but after talking with my family, I believe it’s in my best interest to enter the transfer portal,” Mensah said in a post on X.
Miami looms as the expected favorite in Mensah’s recruitment when he officially becomes available. The Hurricanes have signed transfer quarterbacks in consecutive years — Cam Ward and Carson Beck — and have not landed one during the two-week transfer window that opened Jan. 2.
Mensah had decided Dec. 19 to return to Duke for his redshirt junior season after exploring the possibility of entering the NFL draft. He was No. 5 in Mel Kiper Jr.’s quarterback rankings for the 2026 draft before his latest decision.
The quarterback was entering the second year of a two-year deal with Duke that would pay him up to $4 million in 2026. If Mensah leaves Duke, sources told ESPN’s Pete Thamel that his contract grants the university his exclusive name, image and likeness rights, which could prevent Mensah from earning revenue-sharing money at his next school unless Duke terminates its deal. There is not a specific buyout amount in Mensah’s contract with Duke, sources told Thamel.
The 6-foot-3, 205-pound redshirt sophomore from San Luis Obispo, California, transferred from Tulane to Duke after the 2024 season and led the Blue Devils to their first outright ACC championship since 1962 with a 27-20 overtime upset of No. 17 Virginia in the conference title game.
Mensah earned second-team All-ACC honors after producing a conference-leading 3,973 passing yards on 67% passing with 35 total touchdowns and six interceptions. He has started 27 career games at Tulane and Duke, and has two more years of eligibility.
If Mensah departs the program on the final day of the NCAA transfer window, it will put coach Manny Diaz and the Blue Devils in a difficult position with few proven options available in the portal.
Backup quarterback Henry Belin IV already entered the portal as a graduate transfer and committed to Missouri State on Thursday.
Duke closed out a 9-5 season with a 42-39 victory over Arizona State in the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl on Dec. 31.
-
Tech5 days agoNew Proposed Legislation Would Let Self-Driving Cars Operate in New York State
-
Sports6 days agoClock is ticking for Frank at Spurs, with dwindling evidence he deserves extra time
-
Sports1 week ago
Commanders go young, promote David Blough to be offensive coordinator
-
Entertainment4 days agoX (formerly Twitter) recovers after brief global outage affects thousands
-
Fashion6 days agoSouth India cotton yarn gains but market unease over US tariff fears
-
Fashion6 days agoChina’s central bank conducts $157-bn outright reverse repo operation
-
Business1 week agoSoftBank reduces Ola Electric stake to 13.5% from 15.6% – The Times of India
-
Sports6 days agoUS figure skating power couple makes history with record breaking seventh national championship
