Look, there’s nothing quite like starting your day by pooping on a little paper hammock affixed to your toilet seat and then poking it a bunch of times with a cotton swab. It was more of a mental hurdle than a practical one, though, as the collection and disposal (you just flush the hammock down when you’re done) was easy enough. You then swish the stick around in a solution, cap it, and send it off. Twenty days later, I got an email that my results were in.

On the website, your results are broken down into a few sections: Summary (with tabs for Brain Health, GI Health, Metabolic Health, Skin Health, and Physical Performance), Action Plan (with tabs for Highest Impact, Diet, Lifestyle, and Probiotics), and the Organisms page, which shows you every single organism it found in your sample, and their relative abundance. Mine held some surprises.

On the positive side, my Microbiome Diversity came in at 4.19, which is above average (normal range is 2.80–3.99, as measured by the Shannon Index), which it says is a sign of a healthy microbiome, and it didn’t find any pathogens or parasites. It says I digest lactose well (thank goodness). It didn’t find any associations for things like depression, celiac disease, IBS, ulcerative colitis, leaky gut, hypertension, eczema, or a bunch of other things that I’m thankful to not have. Some of these were actually a bit puzzling, frankly, as I’ve struggled with insomnia pretty much my entire life, but it didn’t find any associations there, or for fatigue, and I am most assuredly a tired human.

As far as associations that it did find, some were things I suspected, while others were total surprises. Under Brain Health, I had a moderate association for stress and a low association for ADHD, neither of which shocked me. Under Metabolic health was a “very low” association for prediabetes, which I actually thought would be higher, unfortunately. I had a moderate association with osteoarthritis, which made sense, given my family history.

If you’re sensitive to tech disasters, you might want to look away now: A recent Reddit thread tells the story of an unfortunate user who found 30 years of photos and work locked away and inaccessible in Microsoft OneDrive.

The individual made use of their cloud storage account to consolidate files from various hard drives, which had to be discarded due to a move. The plan was to then move the files back from OneDrive to new hard drives, but before the user was able to do this, their account was locked by Microsoft—without any reason given.

It’s still not clear why the account was locked or why Microsoft has so far ignored the user’s appeals to restore access, but it’s a warning to the rest of us—and a reminder to put a few basic protections and precautions in place.

Keep Multiple Backups

It used to be a truth universally acknowledged that data wasn’t properly backed up until it was backed up twice, in two separate locations. You can copy your important files to an external hard drive, but if it’s in the same room as your laptop, then theft, fire, or flood can wipe out both copies at the same time.

Today, having two backups of everything—so three copies in total—might seem excessive, as cloud storage services so rarely go down. We’ve all become used to the idea that the data we’ve logged with Microsoft, Google, Apple, or other providers is always going to be available, so we don’t need to worry about it.

A series of shallow grooves line either side of the case’s bottom half. These seem to mimic the side sculpts of some limited-run custom keyboards, and they have a functional purpose, making it easier to lift the keyboard. The design is mirrored in the aluminum knob in the top right corner, which has a similar motif. I really like that these designs are not only ornamental but actually have a functional purpose during regular use.

Going further into the aesthetic choices of this keyboard, it loses me a bit with the keycaps. I’m not a big fan of the camouflage design. The shapes don’t always line up across keycaps, and it overall seems tacky. However, the print quality is top-notch, with no fuzziness or discoloration, consistent even along the keycaps’ sides. Because the keycaps are white with multicolored printing on top, the RGB lighting is able to bounce between the white plastic plate and the white undersides of the keycaps, appearing brighter and diffusing more evenly across the keyboard.

With a polling rate of 1,000 Hz (meaning the keyboard sends 1,000 messages to the computer every second), the DeltaForce 65 feels snappy and responsive. This combines with the relatively light Gateron Red switches to make a keyboard that’s effective for gaming while still being comfortable to type on. It doesn’t compare to high-end gaming keyboards with Hall effect switches and 8,000-Hz polling rates, which are going to be faster and more customizable, but for casual gaming, it’s more than enough.

The compact size of the keyboard is ideal for gaming, saving a significant amount of space compared to a full-size keyboard. This allows for more mouse space and lets your hands sit closer together for more rapid movement between the mouse and keyboard. To make up for the loss of the function row up top, you can hold the FN key and press the corresponding number key (i.e., FN+1 = F1), and the FN key can be used with some other keys for the Home, Pause, Print Screen, and other removed keys. The knob in the top right is easy to reach and has a satisfying notchiness to it. It’s programmed to adjust volume by default, but can be remapped to nearly anything else.

Software Quirks

As far as programmability, VIA is the star of the show here. The DeltaForce65 uses an open source system known as QMK for its programmability, and VIA is an in-browser interface based on QMK that allows for seamless, rapid customization of the keyboard’s layout. The system is incredibly powerful and intuitive to use, and a common capability of many modern mechanical keyboards.